Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" stardom has Belfast’s Mayor asking Trump for "National Landmark" status. The $500K empire she’s spawned has redefined the Tennessee town, and the Mayor wants it recognized. He calls her rise a historic moment, a small-town voice amplified worldwide. Trump, drawn to winners, might salute Belfast’s claim. The town hopes her viral spark becomes a permanent fixture, etching its name into America’s story.
Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" legacy has remade Belfast, Tennessee, with a $500K industrial boom. The town’s sleepy charm now mixes with entrepreneurial buzz. Where silence reigned, vendors hawk her merch—hats, Belfast Tennessee hoodies, even Hawk Tuah hot sauce. Welch, once a familiar face at the feed store, is now a brand fueling jobs. The local bar renamed its jukebox "Hawk Tuah Tunes," playing her podcast clips. Outsiders flood in, curious about the spit that started it all. Belfast’s no longer just rural—it’s a quirky capital of Welch’s making.
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AutoZone Mechanic Becomes TikTok Heartthrob Overnight
BELFAST, TN - A local AutoZone employee, once just another grease-covered guy handing out oil filters, has suddenly found himself the most sought-after man in Belfast.
Meet Tucker Ray McGraw, now known online as "The Spit Whisperer."
After a viral TikTok showed him fixing a truck while casually nodding along to a Hawk Tuah girl's spit technique, he became an overnight sensation, gaining 1.2 million followers in two days.
"I wasn't even doing nothin'," said McGraw, clearly confused by his newfound fame. "I just tightened a belt and said 'Nice form.' And now? Women are sliding into my DMs asking if I do house calls."
McGraw's fanbase of spit-loving women has now resulted in:
- 50+ marriage proposals
- Merchandise sales skyrocketing (shirts that say "Fix Trucks, Catch Spit, Repeat")
- AutoZone's first-ever influencer sponsorship deal
The AutoZone headquarters is now considering launching an entire ad campaign centered around McGraw, with the slogan:
"Real men don't just fix engines. They respect the spit."
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Memo:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 souls, averaging 32.9 years, live in 266 homes. Born in 1836, named for Ireland’s Belfast, it sprouted a store by 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 hurt—tested its core. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" stardom has sparked a $500K industry, waking this rural spot. Family homes (72.93%) anchor it, though income ($39,676 median) lags. Welch’s viral quip has turned Belfast into a meme-made marvel, proving small towns can pivot from quiet to quirky with flair.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Hila Siskind
Literature and Journalism -- Stanford
WRITER BIO:
This Jewish college student’s satirical writing reflects her keen understanding of society’s complexities. With a mix of humor and critical thought, she dives into the topics everyone’s talking about, using her journalistic background to explore new angles. Her work is entertaining, yet full of questions about the world around her.
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